A mixture of pieces of writing, some recent, but many older. Some of them are written to be spoken aloud, ranted, recorded or for performance, maybe imagine a voice speaking it, some is just thoughts about things, about teaching performance, some are stories.
Saturday, 21 April 2018
Not sure why I am posting this ...Habit? Hmm a stab at futurology? Who knows? Here goes...
Everyone admits they exist simultaneously in parallel universes urbanely but will not talk from within one universe about that universe... no-one wants to admit who they are. Maybe old versions of what were thought of as realities of who one is no longer exist.
It’s difficult to find the language. Everyone lives in several bubbles and those that believe in bubbles inhabit a bubble of their own
In bed 6.15am. Remembering a ‘friend’ of a friend turning to me years ago and asking casually ‘what’s your cash cow then?’ And I didn’t know what she was talking about. I had never heard of this ‘cash cow’ thing that everybody is meant to have. She assumed I like everyone around her, had some private income. I must have given that impression. Why? why? why? I hate how class ridden and money concerned this country is. Maybe I had drifted into that world without realising it; I could pass and play the twat. It flattered me but how naive. I don’t like some of the way I’ve been
Sometimes it seems quite arbitrary what I choose to carry with me when going through and saving some things from my parents household, but for some reasonI have saved the cassette of ‘Jazz on a Summers Day 15 Jazz classics’ which has, track 2 side 1, Sarah Vaughan singing 'Summertime.' Listening to it on an old beatbox while I potter about the kitchen and thinking of how most music is quantised and regularised and then I think of the precision and freedom combined of jazz musicians, and Sarah Vaughan and the bands ragged and precise timing and how weird it is. You could get all analytical and decode what is happening in there, but it’s all felt and I bet all players involved would laugh if you asked them to analyse exactly what is happening.
‘That is the way she sang and we went with it’ I can imagine them saying, downplaying their probably unconscious sensitive musicianship
Pre digital playing is so different- there is always compromise and sensitivity there. Hard to keep that sensitivity in a digital world. (I say this knowing how bad my timing can be, but knowing the importance of being in tune and time whether digitally achieved or achieved sensitively). Maybe that in the digital binary world there is less room for mistakes or happy accidents to be assimliated. In the digital binary world something is either 'wrong' or 'right'. The real world is a bit looser- good or bad?
Isn’t it a bit spooky that the Round Reading Room at the centre of the British Museum. one of the most spectacular places in London, lies empty locked and unused?
Apparently many young people now are not interested in the past. They see it as irrelevant.
I spoke to a man sitting at a desk, a museum employee at the membership desk yards from the Reading Room and talked to him. He said it had been closed for years. He didn't know what was happening to it. He talked as if it wasn’t there. There were thousands of people, mainly tourists in the museum, yards from the Reading Room, walking round its outside walls.
Its huge, the centre of the Great Court, its circular form the inspiration for the design of the roof, the centre of the museum, you cannot miss it, yet it is as if it is not there. Empty, locked and unused
Does the amount the amount of data around, which enables experts and policy makers to see the big pictures hinder on-the -spot decision making? and discount more hands on/sensory knowledge
Thinking of reading reports on news websites of global views on food distribution child slavery and seed production after working on my own dox about rules for performance w'shops and wondering how much constantly seeing big picture means reliance on data, distance and an imagined ‘objectivity’ .
Maybe things that happen on a smaller, more immediate level are missed.
Specifically body work which essentially is sensory small experiential and intuitive vs data which essentially is big and head/brain/thought orientated. Out of date Descartes debate, between head and body needs to be eliminated so thought and direct bodily response are brought closer together but Kahneman’s two kinds of thinking: system 1( intuitive, fast) & 2( rational, slow) thinking.which is prevslent now seems to favour system 2 thinking.
I try to get the big picture of the multiple projects I have (stories film songs poems, etc) and in the end find myself getting daunted by the totality and can’t concentrate on any of them, yet if I get immersed in thinking about any one project I get excited at the possibilities and have ideas within it but lose the big picture.
There is loss of power to do with losing the over view- manager’s worry! maybe its just anxiety - getting absorbed in one project may take attention away from trying to maintain and control the overview but nothin gets completed unless you do